愛 ت,

Date :
Time :
Title : cheerup boy,

I'm bored to the max, sleep @ 1.30am yesterday night and wake up at 6am by the morning call. I just take a nap not even 30mins in the school, i'm going to faint soon, tiredtothemax. Boy, i just hope you'll cheer up. Don't think so much alright, luv you. If you need a listening ear, just message me or call me up. I willing to accompany you chat till you're alright. If you're sad, just find someone to talk to, if you don't want talk to me, don't keep it in your heart, one day you'll be stressed up. Time flies, it'd already been 50days that i like you, :) I don't know yi rong is someone ask to spy on me or he really want to be friend with me, seriously i hope he's not someone who ask him to spy on me. Going to start doing my art soon but i think i need some rest first, goodnight everyone :D

Date :
Time :
Title : i'm happy a little :)

Back to post, was somehow not feeling well. Having bad flu and fever a little bit :S But i still recover so fast. Few more days, "N" level coming again, seriously i got no time to study already, my art is the problem! I haven't even started anything yet, i need get it done as soon as possible.

Thanks Mr Yeo for helping me to think my layout, hope that the operation can be successful :) Wish you goodluck and get well soon. Hehe. I just let my sister out to play with her friends, i don't know if i did it right or wrong -.- I'm bored, boredness is killing me, sob.

Date :
Time :
Title :

Had a nightmare, seriously i hate nightmare, but if my dream is good, i don't like it neither, dream is always a dream, it won't come true, so i rather i'd nightmare than my sweet dream, i wish my sweet dream do come true but it won't, it's just a wish :) I don't know why i'm so selfish, i'm freaking selfish, why i choose to leave him but i don't let him go on? Actually, i should not hold on to him anymore. Love? What's love? Letting the one you love happy is what love is? If this is what love are, i hope i don't love anyone, loving someone making them happy, but you just don't feel happy, what's the point of loving someone? Making yourself sad or making yourself hurt? I really wish i can spend the left of my time with you, i don't want anymore regrets in my life, actually i should go for you but i just can't. wooing someone who love others is not a easy thing to do.

Date :
Time :
Title : tiamo,

I'm here to post my blog once again!

Having sore throat right now, i don't feel well, and finally the sore throat came to find me. Yesterday went downstairs soccer court play candles, bought some sweets for myself and others, hacks doesn't cure my sore throat :( While making the candles, i got burned by the candles, because at 9.50pm, the light being switch off, and two fucking young Indian kids playing soccer, and their skill was like SUCKS! Keep aim the way where i'm at. I fucking afraid of balls and finally, the ball hit on my head, I was like fucking pissed off, i scold the Indian kids, I did warned them but they just don't go other place and play, luckily they didn't hit the candles i'm making all along, if they touched it and destroyed my candles, i'll just go towards them and give them few tight slaps, thinking that i'm easy to get bullied? A girl not so easy to get bully alright, you guy out there _|_ And my art, how to complete it by one week? Omg, lacking of time, 4oct exam again and freedom is coming too :/ Had a bad dream, dream of robot in the world, stepping on my house :( But i'm not dead, it's so dramatic -.-

this is the candles that burned my hand and the ball hit my head while i'm doing it.

Date :
Time :
Title :

Didn't went school today due to tiredness. Woke up in the morning to train my evan, level twice today, level 73 :) And got a lot of fruity bamboo, it's so fucking many that i don't know how many and got 2 star chairs. Took a nap and woke up at 6pm, went lotone with jiafeng for my dinner and buy something home, thanks for sending me home, i really don't know how to stay here, fucking stupid bastard die so near for what, should go other place jump what -.- bullshit.

Date :
Time :
Title : Fuck it,

I'm scared. Why today so many unlucky things is happening together. Seriously, today is an unlucky for me, fucking unlucky! Morning, got one Malay old woman fucking asshole, can't she just wait for people go down, can't she see the bus is so crowded, want to sit still want to push here and there when going down, i'm just telling her nicely, can't you just wait, she fucking still say i'm angry, if you're angry then go die la, fucker, so old already, don't know how to think? A lot of stupid stuff happened today, I'm pissed off by that! I really ran out of topic, somehow i feel one day we won't message anymore. And i can see, you just don't feel like replying me, I wondering are you alright? You keep told me don't know, then when i can stop worrying about you when you keep say don't know? It'd been 40days, nothing gonna change your love for her, i need to give you up one day, the one day will be here soon? But i really want to know, then for what point i'm waiting for you in the first place. I'm fucking tired after evan level 71, the evan quest is bullshit! Wasted so long of my time to complete it, Still died three times _|_ Sucker. I got no time to look after my hamsters, i'm becoming lazier. Fuck my life.

Date :
Time :
Title : Pissed Off.

Can i ask, is this how you treat me? Is this how you treat a friend? I really don't know, i care and worried, i waited for your reply but you just don't want reply me. I texted you 3 messages, you didn't even bother to reply till jiafeng message you. Don't you know i like you, i worried, i'd been thinking so much? Actually i can don't care, but i choose to care, but why this is the result i get from you, you don't like me, i don't mind, i didn't force you to like me anyway. But don't you think i did so many things, is just because of you? I told jiaqi that we watched the shock labyrinth at weekend just because maybe you can, if not i go with her to watch it during weekday. But i waited for your reply, i wanted to ask you, but you told me you don't feel like touching your phone, the time i saw the message you reply me, i suddenly feel that why i like you, why i continue to care when you treat me this way, why i don't mind you reply me one word one word in every message, i think you should know how the feeling of the one you love treat you this way you won't like it. You can say, i'm the one who want to care, you didn't force me, but if you care for someone and that person you treat like what you treat me, will you be upset? Maybe everything i did was wrong, in the first place i should not have like you. Because even if i like you, i waited for you, in the end we can only be friend, surely you'll stead with other girl. I trained maple in the morning just for you, wanted to level 100 as soon as possible. But what? You don't even bother, i also don't know why i need to do so much things for you. Loving someone is painful, i hope something can just stop the pain. Seriously i felt so upset, when i saw the message. All i can only blame is just myself.

_____________________________________________

I'm sorry for what I'd done, didn't know the reason, just ignore everything above. Watched the shock labyrinth. It was just okok, not really scary but i don't know why jiafeng keep got scared by the sound effect :D He going blame me for posting this. Oh no! Feel like sleeping soon but i'm not at home, i wish i can fly home right now. But that's just a wish :/

Date :
Time :
Title : I feel high today :/

Headed home after school, Wanted to visit him, but jiafeng keep ask me go home, pissed off that time, and then ... Enjoyed myself in the afternoon :) and then sleep till 6.30pm. Seriously i like the feeling so much, don't want to say much about it. One word to describe, high :D Train my evan and now level 69, hope i can meet the target before the event end. Hope tomorrow, everything go smooth, his fever recover so that he can go watch movie with me.

THE END! :)

Date :
Time :
Title : ngcwiw.

I don't know what happened to my finger and leg. I can't bend my finger, once i bend it, it hurt. I didn't hurt my leg but when i walk i feel the pain too. What's wrong with me. After school went 163 with jiafeng, eat with co. and headed to 7-eleven to buy something. After that went to give him and headed back home. When walking towards his house, i nearly faint, the sun was so hot, whole body was hot too. And i don't wish him to get mistaken by buying him something is with motive. I really no motive at all, why can't you accept? I didn't mean that after accepting my stuff and you need to accept me too. I know you just don't like me, i won't put so much hope or i won't put any hope in anymore, the more hope i put, the more hurt i will get in the end, somehow i feel that, we're just fated to be friend, it'd been 36days, but you just don't get touched or what, or maybe i didn't do anything that can touched you, i really don't know what i should do next, maybe i should not think too much and let's natural takes place. Maybe one day, the very one day i will just give up. Nothing much i can do. I seriously hate people who break what they'd promised, you fucking promise me that you let me, but why you threaten me? I fucking hate the feeling when someone threaten me, and you said if you die, i'm to blame, then why do you want to promise me in the first place. Fucking asshole. Seriously i want to go explore old changi hospital, it looks fun :D

Date :
Time :
Title : hiwicbwhn*

Today was so cold, lucky there's jacket for me when i need it :) Went to eat long john silver with jiafeng and jiaqi, after that weihong came, then we went mini toon shop one round and i went to jiafeng's house staircase wait for him to bathe and headed back home. I'm waiting for his reply and ulric to die faster in dota, i hate dota, one round took a long time to finish the game. You told me 7pm then 7.30pm now don't know what time, you pangseh me you know? :( I feeling so bad by letting him continue fever and i can't do anything to help. I'm so useless to him. *ichia*!! fml. Alright, shall go train maple i think. End here :)

Date :
Time :
Title : P.S I Love You.

Nothing much happen today, just that today is 14th sept 2010. And meet up with javin wong and Lincoln , he keep disturb me, saying bullshit. LOL. Random sia him, i hope my bill won't bomb by texting him -.- Ya, you like me before and you don't dare to tell me because you're scared. LOL. Primary school i was just a kid :( LOL! My modem today was totally not in good mood, i tried two modem but no internet connection, LOL. Modem also got their mood ok, internet unable to connect in the wrong timing. Or maybe my computer think that you not enough rest and want you go rest :/ JAVIN WONG, i think you should stop it, you're just playing me, telling me last time primary school you like me and you don't dare tell me, and now ask me yes or no? Why ask me be your stead? awwww, i can't :( I got someone i liked :/ Sorry, but i think you're just kidding with me, so yeah :D alright, going sleep soon, byebye :D:D:D:D

Date :
Time :
Title : I know,

Whole day feeling tired and weak. I don't know why, I don't feel weak last time, I going to die soon? :/ Contact time is the time i learnt most things, Mr Faizal teach us waves, i understand it clearly. Accompany jiafeng, sarah and jiaqi to plaza, wait for them to finish their food and came home cook maggi mee for myself, i love the maggi mee i cooked for myself, hehe. Sorry for letting you being sick, i didn't know you'll fall sick after the night wind :/ Take good care of yourself, if you need me to bring you to the doctor must tell me wor. Feeling bad to make you sick right now, :( But i can say, i'm trying real hard to please you in whatever you want, I don't know how to open my mouth to ask you out for movie again, thinking you will just reject me this time round. I hate being paranoid, fuck that feeling. I left my charger in school and i can't charge my phone right now, no batt soon. Feeling tired, going rest soon, :)

______________________________________

Woke up from my sleep. And it's 8.12pm already, feeling weak. No strength to carry thing. What the hell is wrong with me, I feel that i'm dragging myself, I feel so heavy. It'd been 33 days, my confident is getting lesser and lesser and one day my confident will disappear in the air. And maybe my body disappear too :/ And everyone won't get to see me anymore :x

Date :
Time :
Title : Everything do change,

Everything change, you're no longer the same like before, went boonlay eat dinner yesterday and ulric chat with me in facebook, unable to finish my food, and sleep @ 3am. Talking to joel and zhiying via msn, I looked so extra, i didn't know anything about anime, i don't want to know anything about anime too, not interested LOL.Different people got different views. Morning, eat almost plain porridge, don't have the appetite to eat the meat. don't know why, LOL. Talking to ulric about next year ITE taking the same course, LOL. West college I'm coming?! LOL. Played few rounds of audition with alvin and hong fei. First and second round, i got 1 million plus plus score :) LOL, because insane :/ Hehe. 8k won hong fei, LOL. Because he's not use to his home computer :D I'm bored right now. Going out soon, byebye :P

Date :
Time :
Title : I miss you,

Back to post, yesterday night wanted to post through iPhone, but don't know what happen, just can't post. Never mind, use computer post is easier :D I just in love with jiggy, i can't stop listening to the song, LOL! Guys who knows how to dance is extremely cuteeeeeeeeeeeee , yesterday went to bugis with joel, jiafeng, doris, jiazheng, fuxiang and his girlfriend. Wanted to watch resident evil afterlife, but due to 3 of us can watch, 3 of them can't watch, so we got no choice but to watch grown up. && I want to say, THAT'S NOT THE SITTING PLAN I WANTED, zzz!! I sitting at one end, he sitting at one end. I don't like, :( After that, we keep on walk around bugis, got nothing interesting stuff over there, bored. Then i walked until legs pain, and by chasing jiafeng from going up the bus, my legs cramps and also can't make it, but i tried my best, disappointed in myself. And i tell myself, i will try my best to say i love you in real life, if possible la, LOL! But i scared he will be shocked, why is there a crazy woman saying i love you to me, LOL. And i also know, i won't have chance because you working at a place with full of girls, LOL. One day you will just fall for a girl, :) But i still won't give up until you tell me, i got no chance :) I'm not a girl who wants to give up easily. Even if my friends keep on ask me give up, i'm not going to do so :) Because love is something special, not two words from your friends and you will give up. I miss you suddenly when i wake up. And i hope jiafeng don't see what i post and try to avoid me again, i'm not writing to make you avoid me, i'm just trying to say out what i really think, sorry. Woke up from a dream, it's terrible. I feel that i'm insecure!

Date :
Time :
Title : Fuck you,

Hate the way you are, you trying to prove what to me? You can let me have him this way? Fuck your mind ok, stupid thinking you have with you all along. You want me to hate you and stop calling you right? Then don't bother to contact me anymore too, don't need to wait for my call anymore, i won't ever try to dial your number, not at all. Even if i got back my phone, i just won't try to contact you, no more. You still tell me you have been mature that few days i broke up with you? You must be kidding, you're not mature at all, childishness is what you got all along. Childishness and jealousy have been with you all along. You said i didn't post about you, can you just say on top of this? It's all about you, ya it's all about you, is it long enough? If it's not enough, you can just tell me, i will continue all the bullshit you'd done. Had English Paper today, heh, i hope i can just pass this English, mother tongue still got a bit confident of passing, but English? I failed all the way till now, just hope to pass, had a horrible nightmare, it's fucking horrible!! Hate having nightmare. And when i wake up, you give me all bullshit, i fucking hate you right now, are you happy with it? You think you're in between us? Heh, that's so funny, you think that your thinking is right? BULLSHIT!! If you really want me to get out of your life, i will do as you said, bye.

Date :
Time :
Title : Flunk,

LOL. Today paper was flunked by myself, LOL Congrats me :) Heh, LOL. Today was so lifeless in the morning, and when in the examination hall, i was so pissed off, i wasted so many time study on governance, no topic on governance came out alright!! Fuck this social studies paper!! I hope tomorrow English paper will be easier. ^^v. When i heard that you don't want come out, i become shag out of sudden. LOL, i was thinking, keep on thinking, are you trying to avoid me? :) Came back home quite late today, waiting for them to finish their food, now having a bit gastric pain. No sim card with me, feel so fuck!! When i want to contact you, it's so hard to contact. Wish myself get good result for tomorrow English paper ^^v. Should sleep early today, goodnight everyone ^^v.

Date :
Time :
Title : 모래의,

It look like you're just avoiding me :( Haiz, i felt upset suddenly. Can anyone cheer me up? I haven't study ss yet, i'm going to die soon, :( How to make you like me just a bit? I've no idea!! Just thinking that everyday i'm disturbing you. Maybe my life won't be that lucky enough :) Don't want it to bother me anymore, i just want to concentrate on my study right now, i don't think you will want me to disturb you anymore. Nonono, not even at first you want me to disturb you, i don't know why it bother me so much -.- Awwwwz!! Never mind, let it be :) Today Chinese was still ok ok, nothing much to say about it, heh. Alright, chatting with bestie now, byebye :)

Date :
Time :
Title :

LOL. I didn't know you hate me that much. You won't know how hurt am i when you said that, my 1 year 6 months with you. And you said that, you won't know the hurt i got from you, i really didn't know that, being with you that time, the feeling i give you, you thought it was fake. I know everything is my fault, but do you need to say until like that when i didn't even want to take revenge on you, and you don't need to worry, i won't even do that to your brother, i really don't understand why you got such thinking that i'm just playing you, when i heard that, one word that describe me, shag, my one year six months gone, w/o any of your trust. I know i'm selfish, who's not selfish? Everyone is selfish only it's different thing that makes them of being selfish. I cried, i don't know why, why would i cry for you when i already don't want you? I just don't understand. When you asked me to get out of your life, i wonder why must it become like that? why cant we be friend? Why must it end up like this? Can anyone just tell me why? You said you love me, but why you still say all those hurtful thing out from your mouth? I just don't understand what's the real love. True love? anyone know? I bet no one know. Even adult can marry and divorce, they don't even know what is the meaning of true love. Maybe it's my retribution for don't want you, i can't blame anyone just me alone :) Never mind, it's enough. I don't want to keep thinking of this anymore, not at all. If you want me to get out your life, i'm fine with it, you happy can le. Watched finish hi my sweetheart, and i don't like the ending!! So fast finish, not good, i haven't watch enough please. Study ss just now, read the whole paper just now. Don't know why feel so tired suddenly :(

Date :
Time :
Title : I'm tired of everything,

What else more i can say? When i looked, i saw everything you two chat. I don't mean you two cant chat, but it's really hurting, that's all i can say. Not going watch movie today, i'm tired, i just want to sleep and hope i won't wake up from my sleep. Sleep as long as i want, you won't know how hurt am i now, just hoping you will go, but you just don't want go. Nevermind, maybe that's the hint that you want me to stop. I will try to stop, i hope i won't disturb you anymore. Can anyone just fml? I'M TIREDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!

_______________________________________________________________

back from haunted changi movie, and i can say is just bullshit!! i rate it 1/5. Nothing interesting except some funny scenes. Got gastric pain because of your childish acts. Bought your movie ticket for you and you went home, trying to act like a clown? But you ain't funny. Just FUCK OFF MY LIFE.

Date :
Time :
Title : fml thanks,

back to post, didn't post for quite few days, currently i'm very pissed off. I trained so hard to level 40. But you just manage to help me level 46 when you even bought 2x, you're just wasting my money. I'm really disappointed. This few days many people are having PMS. Having their anger on me, just me!! Why must i be the one? Think twice, i helped you hang clothes, fold clothes, you even asked me to wash clothes. Why can't it be doris? Why must it be me? Everything is just me, only me. I'm really tired. Yesterday thought of something, and i cried. I really miss you so badly. I Love you, if there's a chance, i hope i wont repeat the same thing that makes me regret anymore, but now there's no more chance for me, the only chance is when i go up find you, being your cow or horse. I really felt so helpless, nothing in this world that i think i should live for, nothing!! Mum scold me, Dad also scold me, confiscated my sim card, what the hell i buy iphone for? Just for fun? -.- Sorry for having my anger on you, i really don't know what i should do, if i know that i will failed to get the ring, i wont play all day long just to get it. I would just spend my time studying, seriously i hope you understand, and i don't really know what i really want, just give up. I'm just a bad girl, please don't wait for me. Please fml, i wish i could just go find my beloved grandmother soon, i miss you.